my green fields [dec 24 2007, 00:43]
it's christmas around here. the clock has just rolled over and turned evening into night, today into yesterday and tomorrow into today, it morphed the day before christmas to christmas day, big numbers into the tiny 00:00. and i'm lying there, thinking.
thinking about the fading memory that was last year's christmas eve. remembering having enjoyed it somehow but having felt that utter discontentedness, wrongness... less-ness.
thinking about how much has changed over the past year (albeit changes only started a couple of months from now and a year back) and slowly, really slowly it's sinking in: things have indeed changed, a lot they have. i can't even remember how life was before... you.
thinking about how fucking lucky i am and how fucking happy i am. despite all the minor annoyances of everyday life (jobworkgettingupandeverything), there's almost nothing i'd like to change right now.
and that change is going to happen next year, or so it seems. not being pushed out of the nest but leaving it, with wings spread wide and the pillow with the cool side to catch me if i find myself struggling with gravity's gripping grasp.
good. doubleplusgood.
merry christmas to all of you.
charon
thinking about the fading memory that was last year's christmas eve. remembering having enjoyed it somehow but having felt that utter discontentedness, wrongness... less-ness.
thinking about how much has changed over the past year (albeit changes only started a couple of months from now and a year back) and slowly, really slowly it's sinking in: things have indeed changed, a lot they have. i can't even remember how life was before... you.
thinking about how fucking lucky i am and how fucking happy i am. despite all the minor annoyances of everyday life (jobworkgettingupandeverything), there's almost nothing i'd like to change right now.
and that change is going to happen next year, or so it seems. not being pushed out of the nest but leaving it, with wings spread wide and the pillow with the cool side to catch me if i find myself struggling with gravity's gripping grasp.
good. doubleplusgood.
merry christmas to all of you.
charon