rain. everywhere. and outside.
been dead this weekend. i keep telling myself that it's the weather that brings me down once a month and that crushes me once a year but i can't completely shake the feeling that there's something considerably wrong.
lying in bed unable to get a clear thought made for two things. it made me rethink some stupid facts over and over again and it made me miss a birthday party i would really have liked to go to.
and i know what you thought.
a while ago i wrote about the way i try to lead my life. focus on the positive things, relax, remember the good times. it still works, yes, but the quirks of all this become more apparent all the time.
it's like a filter, deep and high pass. it filters out all the highs and the lows, all that remains is the average. and the bad stuff, sometimes, because i can't always filter this out.
i guess, i should be happy. some things are getting jolted into shape right now and i'll be able to plan in a little while. it's just that i'm not.
pathetic.
charon

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