sometimes things go wrong. you often know before when they are. you've got that certain feeling, that itch in your knee, that tells you that the very something you wish for is not going to happen, that everything is not going to turn out the way you want it. but just as often it catches you by surprise. when you're absolutely certain that you're right, that the others are wrong, that you will turn out alright – then it hits you.
yeah, there are times when things just go wrong. that happens. everyone knows.
there are also weeks when everything goes wrong. we've all had some of these. you know on monday that it was a terrible idea to get out of bed and by friday you hope that things will improve or at least not get worse over the weekend.
there are months when everything goes wrong. there are little highs but the retrospective paints a bleak picture of loss and despair. you don't really know whether it was all bad or whether this is just the way you see it right now but, well, the way you feel, that's what counts.
there are also years when everything goes wrong. they're rare but they happen.
i guess, this is such a year.
it's not even over yet and when i'm thinking about it, there are some really good things that happened in the last eight months, but the crap, the goddamn bullshit just overweighs everything else.
yes, it is dramatic. some straws break. others turn out to be snakes that try to bite off your head once you grab them for support. others look so fragile that you can't even touch them.
ah, imagery again... time to finish. time to clean up.
happy new year.
charon

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