it's good
[jun 26 2006, 22:14]
it's good to drop the pretence. i feel i'm always growing a few inches once i'm home, once i'm alone, once i let go of all the things that hold me back during the day, rid myself of all the things that people see in me.
it's good to believe that some people don't care, don't mind the ugly naked turtle beyond the shell. it's good to believe that. until i'm proven wrong.
i watched one hour photo last night. a lot of truths in this movie, a lot of great camerawork and lighting and acting and casting but first and foremost a lot of truths.
i don't know if movies help. i don't know if reading wise quotations about life changes anything, however true they are. i don't know if knowing that it probably doesn't make a difference is incentive enough for me to do something. to change something. to start all over again.
and all the while i'm being pushed. do this, do that, try this, don't do that.
read this (which i did), tell me what you think about that (which i did), get your life together (which i told myself), stop beating about the bush (which i won't), decide, decide, decide.
go there?
stay?
leave for somewhere else?
it's all about safety these days, all about making an effort to protect yourself from whatever harm is there to come. it's all about adapt or perish, don't fit into the scheme and get lost in it.
the things we are afraid of the most are the things that have already happened to us – and we fear they might happen again.
wise, so wise. true, so true.
sometimes i wish i didn't care.
charon
it's good to believe that some people don't care, don't mind the ugly naked turtle beyond the shell. it's good to believe that. until i'm proven wrong.
i watched one hour photo last night. a lot of truths in this movie, a lot of great camerawork and lighting and acting and casting but first and foremost a lot of truths.
and if these pictures have anything important to say to future generations, it's this: i was here. i existed. i was young, i was happy, and someone cared enough about me in this world to take my picture.
nobody takes a picture of something they want to forget.
most people don't take snapshots of the little things. the used band-aid, the guy at the gas station, the wasp on the jell-o. but these are the things that make up the true picture of our lives. people don't take pictures of these things.a whole bunch of great imagery (literally) for a lot that's been on my mind lately.
i don't know if movies help. i don't know if reading wise quotations about life changes anything, however true they are. i don't know if knowing that it probably doesn't make a difference is incentive enough for me to do something. to change something. to start all over again.
and all the while i'm being pushed. do this, do that, try this, don't do that.
read this (which i did), tell me what you think about that (which i did), get your life together (which i told myself), stop beating about the bush (which i won't), decide, decide, decide.
go there?
stay?
leave for somewhere else?
it's all about safety these days, all about making an effort to protect yourself from whatever harm is there to come. it's all about adapt or perish, don't fit into the scheme and get lost in it.
the things we are afraid of the most are the things that have already happened to us – and we fear they might happen again.
wise, so wise. true, so true.
sometimes i wish i didn't care.
charon