yeah, it's nice outside. i love snow. i love the sound it makes under your feet, i love its smell in the air, the way that every sound is sort of muffled but somehow even clearer than usual. i like the world to be cold because it matches its inner values a lot better and because it's easier to get warm and comfortable like that. with someone. else.
i don't want you to be unhappy [this 'you' is not a specific 'you', especially not you, but now that you're reading it, it might be you as well...]. i once thought i did, but it just was false pretense. i don't want you to be where i am, or to ever get there. i don't want you to return from pleasantville with its nice weather and the cats in the trees to the fire down here. i don't want you to lose what you have. i don't want you to give it up. not only because i'd probably feel guilty then, simply because that's not the way these things work.
i don't want you to be alone. i don't want anyone to be alone. i know what it is like. when you're hovering over your cellphone waiting for... something. anything. when you check your e-mail account every two minutes just because another spam mail might have arrived that's worth reading (you don't really get any other mails anymore). but you ignore the ring of the telephone because it's just someone who wants you to fix his computer or someone else who wants to sell you something.
and now that christmas is two days away, with all its fuss and hassle, with all its glow and gleaming, all its niceness and gentleness, with all the superfluous amount of feeling... no, especially now i don't want anyone on this whole goddamn planet to be alone.
not alone.
not this alone.
and now get out of my fucking head. i told you too much already.
charon

song of the day: fatboy slim - right here, right now

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