it somehow feels horribly familiar. the late nights, the high costs, the doubtable result, all that... i had that before! is it going to be the very same? we'll see...
sassl's guestbook-entry evoked an old thought in me. if i died today, tomorrow or next week - what would remain? no, i'm not going to die in the next week (at least i don't intend to) but the question where my life has brought me - and whether it has brought me anywhere at all.
most people (including me) can say: my life brought me here, right down to this very moment. and it can't have been that bad, then! but others...
an old quote i once used for my 'quote of the day'-feature was 'suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism'. interesting, isn't it? well, at least i suppose it's interesting.
about a year ago i read 'die leiden des jungen werther' by johann wolfgang goethe in our german-lessons at school. most people were quite dissatisfied by the end - werther kills himself because he is stuck in an unsolvable situation (at least in a situation that he can't solve) in which his best friend has married the woman he has loved since he has first seen her. everybody in our class (well, almost everybody) thought that this was a very stupid thing to do - and i agree, now. but back then (and still sometimes)suicide seems like an apropriate solution for some people. sounds horrible, is horrible - but that's the way it is.

i am rather happy with my life. although (of course) not everything is perfect. if you followed the entriesin my diary, you know at least some of the things that i regard as... well, improvable. but the overall impression of my life until now is not that bad. not really. and as she said, it got me here. right down to this point. and it really, really, really can't be that bad.
really.
charon

ps: i hate my [space]-key... it doesn't really seem to work anymore *sigh*

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