constant perception of truth
[nov 17 2002, 00:32]
finally, sleep is back. at least for a day or two, i feel as if i had slept enough - for the first time in like two months!
last week was absolutely horrid! yes, of course, there were those great stagings of the midsummernight's dream but apart from that... scholar life obviously has decided to cease liking me. or perhaps that's just my perception because of last week. who knows.
i don't really know how but i managed to get a book into my hands again. i love reading, especially english books but in the last time i have just been so incredibly busy that i managed to finish the last part of the lord of the rings. and that was it. now i'm reading neverwhere by neil gaiman. the interesting thing about it is the way i got it in my hands again. about two or three years ago my mom gave it to me telling me that it was a great book and that i would surely like it. as i didn't really believe in her capturing the essence of my liking, i put the book into my bookshelf (one of them) and left it there until the beginning of the week. i had read a blog in which someone wrote about neil gaiman's work and how great it was. i read some other recensions and a short extract from one of his books and thought about ordering one at amazon. at that evening i went to bed walking along my bookshelf because someone had returned a book that he had borrowed. and like in a bad movie, i saw that book again and for the first time in my life i noticed that it had been written by gaiman. started reading it and - it captured me. finally something did. his style of writing is quite strange. on the one hand he has strange sentences (at least the german translation has). he seperates sentences that belong together (for example he would have put a dot here) and splits them up into two. but on the other hand it is so incredibly captivating... however!
just sorted some of my mp3s again and found an old tune from the 'anastasia'-soundtrack. no, i am not one of these forty year-old disney-freaks that keep watching the lion king day after day but i somehow like some of the soundtracks.
the song is called 'once upon a december' and... well, somehow (perhaps because of the name? well, i don't know for sure... *err*) it makes me think of the season to come.
you wake up in the middle of the night and everything is absolutely silent. it is silent enough to frighten you. you cannot hear a single sound. you open the eyes you had been keeping close because you were afraid of what you might see. now, as you open them, nothing has changed. the pure essence of darkness remains. you get your first leg out of the bed and as your foot touches the could floor you know that you perhaps shouldn't be doing this. you get the other leg out, raise and get to the window. [>- a gaiman '.'] and in the middle of the night, in the middle of the darkness of the night you see a streetlight, one of these yellowy-orangeish ones that turn the world into something surreal, something strange as soon as it gets dark. this streetlight enlights the area around it and in this sphere of light you see the small patches of snow slowly falling onto the ground and combining with the millions of others that did so before. and before you can think about what you're doing, you put your shoes on, cover in your winter-coat and leave the house.
it is cold. incredibly cold. you can tell by your breath that appears in tiny fluffy clouds right in front of your mouth. it is so cold that you wrap your coat even closer around you and that you wish you had taken a scarf. but you don't care. it's probably four in the morning and you know that you'll be absolutely tired for the rest of the day. but you don't care. you know that you possibly, definitely will get a cold if you keep on running around outside like this. but you don't care. you just care for the moment, for this instant in which the snowflakes, one by one, hit your head. and with every single snowflake that touches your body and vanishes your smile gets a little broader, a little happier.
and when you enter your house again, when you put your coat and your shoes away, then you get back under your blanket that feels as cosy as it never did before and as the woman besides you turns around and asks you what you have been doing... you have nothing else to say than the truth - 'dreaming'.
charon
song of the day: nick drake - pink moon
last week was absolutely horrid! yes, of course, there were those great stagings of the midsummernight's dream but apart from that... scholar life obviously has decided to cease liking me. or perhaps that's just my perception because of last week. who knows.
i don't really know how but i managed to get a book into my hands again. i love reading, especially english books but in the last time i have just been so incredibly busy that i managed to finish the last part of the lord of the rings. and that was it. now i'm reading neverwhere by neil gaiman. the interesting thing about it is the way i got it in my hands again. about two or three years ago my mom gave it to me telling me that it was a great book and that i would surely like it. as i didn't really believe in her capturing the essence of my liking, i put the book into my bookshelf (one of them) and left it there until the beginning of the week. i had read a blog in which someone wrote about neil gaiman's work and how great it was. i read some other recensions and a short extract from one of his books and thought about ordering one at amazon. at that evening i went to bed walking along my bookshelf because someone had returned a book that he had borrowed. and like in a bad movie, i saw that book again and for the first time in my life i noticed that it had been written by gaiman. started reading it and - it captured me. finally something did. his style of writing is quite strange. on the one hand he has strange sentences (at least the german translation has). he seperates sentences that belong together (for example he would have put a dot here) and splits them up into two. but on the other hand it is so incredibly captivating... however!
just sorted some of my mp3s again and found an old tune from the 'anastasia'-soundtrack. no, i am not one of these forty year-old disney-freaks that keep watching the lion king day after day but i somehow like some of the soundtracks.
the song is called 'once upon a december' and... well, somehow (perhaps because of the name? well, i don't know for sure... *err*) it makes me think of the season to come.
you wake up in the middle of the night and everything is absolutely silent. it is silent enough to frighten you. you cannot hear a single sound. you open the eyes you had been keeping close because you were afraid of what you might see. now, as you open them, nothing has changed. the pure essence of darkness remains. you get your first leg out of the bed and as your foot touches the could floor you know that you perhaps shouldn't be doing this. you get the other leg out, raise and get to the window. [>- a gaiman '.'] and in the middle of the night, in the middle of the darkness of the night you see a streetlight, one of these yellowy-orangeish ones that turn the world into something surreal, something strange as soon as it gets dark. this streetlight enlights the area around it and in this sphere of light you see the small patches of snow slowly falling onto the ground and combining with the millions of others that did so before. and before you can think about what you're doing, you put your shoes on, cover in your winter-coat and leave the house.
it is cold. incredibly cold. you can tell by your breath that appears in tiny fluffy clouds right in front of your mouth. it is so cold that you wrap your coat even closer around you and that you wish you had taken a scarf. but you don't care. it's probably four in the morning and you know that you'll be absolutely tired for the rest of the day. but you don't care. you know that you possibly, definitely will get a cold if you keep on running around outside like this. but you don't care. you just care for the moment, for this instant in which the snowflakes, one by one, hit your head. and with every single snowflake that touches your body and vanishes your smile gets a little broader, a little happier.
and when you enter your house again, when you put your coat and your shoes away, then you get back under your blanket that feels as cosy as it never did before and as the woman besides you turns around and asks you what you have been doing... you have nothing else to say than the truth - 'dreaming'.
charon
song of the day: nick drake - pink moon